chemistry101

S_trength + I_ntelligence + C_ompassion...

add 2 parts D_rive, tempered with I_ntegrity...

SC_{self-confidence} fueled by SA_{self-assurance} + H_umility

I could continue to string adjectives together, but they still would never combine and match that immeasurable equation of chemistry.

For those of you who don't know this, a woman decides pretty much within the first few seconds of a conversation whether she'll sleep with you. Why? Because we seem to be creatures of instinct. Our gut/heart/head/sex tells us whether or not you're the "one", or the one for right now. Or, if you're definitely NOT the "one".

It takes an act of God (or desperation/sheer financial need) to change our mind about that first impression.

Strike that...because occasionally persistence pays off. A certain high school classmate of mine who shall only be known as Butter can tell you that after a year of my saying no to his advances, and his walking me from class to lunch everyday, I finally gave in and got completely sprung. Go figure.

The exception though, not the rule. Don't ever get that twisted. SECONDS. Remember you only get one chance to make a first impression(what an apt TV slogan).

Why do I bring this up? Lemme see: JC (not the one who's birthday is coming up either) got me (not in the physical sense) on the first date. Boing. And even though we're more off than on, I'm still kinda sprung. What was it: the gear? Helpful, but no. The looks? I've been with cuter. The integrity: that remains to be seen. The conversation? Maybe. His intellect? Maybe. A combo of various adjectives? Yes & No.

I don't know what it was, he just seemed so damn kissable. Damn, that's pretty 8^th grade of me. But that's the thing. You can't pinpoint what it is, just like you couldn't when you were 13 and played spin the bottle & got to kiss the boy that you (not-so)secretly liked. When you still got butterflies before you kissed him, and every time you thought about it afterward, until you kissed again.

Anyway, that's how I want it to be again. Stomach full of butterflies, anticipating the next touch, kiss. That's how it's supposed to be,and if we could only hold on to that feeling with someone who felt the same way about us, then wouldn't life be perfect?

Ok, I'll admit it. I'm a romantic person at heart. I still think that I'd like to receive one perfect dragon lily, just because someone knows I like wildflowers better than roses. And that one good slowly-savored candlelit meal is worth a thousand franchise restaurant meals. And that sand between your toes, or up the crack of you ass, for the right reason, is a good thing. And that I love inspiring my man's unbridled smile, or making him blush. That I'd like to pack his lunch, and send sappy little notes in it to let him know how much I care. Give him a Hallmark Kiss-Kiss Bear. Or tickets for him & his friends to go to a Hawks game, because he likes basketball. Just go out of my way to please him, because his pleasure gives me pleasure.

Again, I digress. The point? I feel a spark(JS maybe?). A fragile little thing, but appreciated, definitely. I want to give it oxygen and make it grow into a flame, but don't want to blow it out...

...sometimes I think I like the uncertainty of the chase, as much as the conquest.